WHEN THE TRANS BOY BALLS

EZra Fox

Audio: Ezra Fox reads.

after Yusef Komunyakaa's “Slam, Dunk, & Hook”

there was a time,
i could mean a girl
hard, cross her over
tangled ankles.
when all my threes
were deep and dirty.
my laces defied gravity
like little bees wings.
wrist flicked, face smug
with swagger. the sun
swishing through its own
netted horizon, glinting on
our sweaty brows. and we
could last almost forever
this way. in springy steps,
in this fever dream of grit
and game, and give me
all of your heart and hustle
and what hurts you don’t hurt
no more on this court
of layups and lost time.

everything is different now,
except the muscle memory
this body keeps. and i am
no longer a bee, just a flower
petal, pollen dusted off
the back legs of the big boys
who say my shorts ain’t baggy
enough for people not to think
something of the way i’d call out
with my wind chime voice,
they claim beautiful
but dangerous.

they must not know
my moves like hot
mercury. game too big
for everything about me
they are afraid of.
i can’t play anywhere,
but in these desolate courts
that hide nothing
beneath the flicker
of street lights, alone,
counting down
my own shot clock,
juking out
my own shadow.

Ezra Fox lives and writes in Bloomington, IN where they are also a poetry reader for Indiana Review. In their writing, Ezra explores the nature of our emotional perceptions, and the ways they influence our definitions of truth. Their work takes place in both physical and mental liminal spaces, often beginning at the initial discomfort of entry and moving towards acceptance. Ezra’s work is in or forthcoming in Glassworks Magazine, Sagebrush Review, Slipstream Press, The Merrimack Review, and elsewhere. Learn about Ezra at ezrafox.net.

Originally published May 2022 in poiesis 3.1 by w the trees.